Allan Stackhouse

| by Allan Stackhouse |

Spoofs are a funny business. When they try to hard, they turn out like Epic Movie. When they’re done with restraint, they turn out like the outrageously hilarious Black Dynamite. Though the film made fun of blaxploitation films of the 1970s. While there are no silver bullets to making a successful spoof, what will help is making a film that can stand on its own with the satirical elements as just the stitching for the garment as opposed to the actual fabric. Take for example Austin Powers – it’s a hilarious film whose satirical ’70s elements are wound across a cohesive tale of spies and super villains. The shots are not simply showcasing spoof after spoof of this recent funny thing in the news and that horrible movie. Black Dynamite is in the vein of Austin Powers but completely takes it to that next level that most big budget comedies shoot for yet only independent films seem to get (see Sunshine Cleaning).

There are two enormously funny winks in the scene with Michael Jai White’s Black Dynamite and Kym Whitley’s Honeybee. Kym herself is a master of comedic acting (Friday After Next) and she is a great scene partner for Michael. A boom mic drops into the shot above Michael and it seems like it’s there for too long but Michael’s glance at it resets the comedic clock. The genius in that is amazing is unspeakably brilliant. Honeybee, in a stressed exclamation to Black Dynamite, places an unlit cigarette to her lips and her subsequent smokeless exhale are simply too funny. The amount of comedy in such a small scene in dialogue, props, and acting all work together to provide such a richly funny scene.

Michael’s physical prowess is noteworthy as well: ceiling high kicks, amazing nunchuku skills, and punches strong enough to break through brick*. The action scene following was surprisingly well done. It was pretty inventive to have the camera focusing only on one victim on the ground with bodies flying and falling around him. Black Dynamite’s appearance only when that victim tries to escape was something out of a horror movie but made to work in a comedy.

The overacting in every scene was almost too much for me to handle. When on the phone with Black Dynamite, Aunt Billy calls him to inform him of his brother’s death. She then sobs for a beat and then proceeds to berate him about a promise he made to his mother. That little purposely placed bit of crying was so hysterically funny that I had to watch it a few times. Overacting is a much better route to go down instead of half-witted pretty faces. Actors who are aware and capable of making their acting sound and look forced to the point where it’s composed at the same time are truly skilled.

On the technical side, the film still managed to find a few to spoof itself as well. After struggling to hang up the phone with Aunt Billy, there is an obvious jump cut with Black Dynamite in frame. Also, Black Dynamite’s dark skinned brother Jimmy is portrayed in a flashback by a lighter skinned actor – not the longest bit you could grasp the humor out of but still amazingly funny. Long lines of dialogue are kept to a minimum in normal films but Black Dynamite uses these lesser-used opportunities to garner humor from something of which you’d normally get a serious explanation: “This one child, I’ll never forget. Poor little bastard was still alive. His little Chinese legs were blown clean off. Still see his little shins and feet hanging from the ceiling fan across the hut. He was charred from his head down to his little Chinese knees. He tried to get up but he fell over when what was left of his right leg broke off.” That’s not the entire monologue but you get the picture. Everything is over the top but still pays mind to the film and not just the jokes.

At this point I must declare myself a fan of Michael Jai White. He has consistently proven himself as an actor in more than one genre, across years of films. I suppose it’s not exactly by choice but it just came about somehow, just like it did with Gerard Butler. Now, as a screenwriter and producer, I admire Michael’s many talents. As a film, Black Dynamite is a gem amongst a sea of lab-made stones. I am in total admiration of its filmmakers and their ability to make such a cohesive and hilarious film.

5/5

P.S. Thanks to Mr. Ben Jones of Sekretagent Productions for the awesome recommendation.

| by Allan Stackhouse |

The excitement I’ve experienced working at Cosmic Toast Studios has carried into my 4th month and it doesn’t appear to be stopping for the 5th.

Jen, our producing intern, acted as script supervisor on a huge service project brought to our studio. She was indisposed during the last few voice recording sessions so I was asked to do this in her place, an exciting opportunity but also a little jitters-inducing since I’ve never done it before. The world of dialogue recording is not exactly laid back. The time codes are so constantly needed and I had to scan ahead for errors to avoid delays. In moments when the sound engineer and the others would run a little long, my attention would drift, be asked for the next time code, and would immediately crash out of my thought tree, scrambling to find it. The first day that I didn’t work with Jen was the day Jane Seymour came in. She was a pleasure to work with and the studio hopes to work with her in the future.

The second day, I had the privilege of working with Jason Alexander, THE Jason Alexander who brought us George Costanza, one of my favorite television characters of all time. Jason looked amazing – his partnership with Jenny Craig clearly proved fruitful by his trim figure. This day in particular started off as a challenge since the amount of lines seemed impossible to fit in the allotted amount of time. Jason, from his work on Duckman and the Aladdin series, was more than experienced with recording in smaller amounts of time and cranked out the lines as if it was just like walking down the street.

Kristin, our office coordinator, and her husband Mike graciously approached me to see if I’d be interested in writing for their website, LA Music Blog. I’ve been having a blast writing for them! Reviewing a film takes a lot of note taking and analysis of all the different elements. Songs have different elements as well but the impact is made within 3-5 minutes as opposed to 90-120. I never thought I’d find myself in such a great opportunity to share my taste in music with anyone other than my friends (or, indirectly, my neighbors and drivers who just so happen to stop next to me).

Marissa, one of our animation interns, is back at school. Good luck with everything, Marissa! She pulled in some extra hours to finish a project and we really appreciate her work. Maybe we’ll see her back here after she graduates.

I haven’t been able to continue my reviews of new films into August because of financial limits and other engagements but I will definitely try to view more new theatrical releases this month. Although, I don’t really think I missed out anything. If you disagree, tell me. Maybe there’s still time for me to catch them. Right now, I’m interested in seeing Machete, Takers, and Vampires Suck.

There hasn’t been a whole lot of time outside of work hours to do much but Ryan, our lead animator, is catching some rays in Hawaii while our other animator Marina is on her way as I write this to Oregon, Washington, and Canada. My mom is coming back from the Philippines on the 6th so I will be spending some time with her that week.

As the projects wind their way down, I still find myself in awe of the talented people I work with. Their drive to succeed and complete projects never fails to inspire me.

I’m sad to report that Justin Thomas’ father passed away. You have our deepest condolences, Justin.

| by Allan Stackhouse |

I can’t seem to pick any winners this week. Dorian Gray is another remade for modern audiences film whose story doesn’t stand the test of time. Maybe in 1890, the story seemed fresh and shocking but today it is antiquated and boring. I chose to rent this and Repo Men and unfortunately neither could hold my interest.

Even if you enjoy period pieces, which I do not, I do not think you will enjoy this film. And if you’re just interested in watching Ben Barnes for two hours, there isn’t enough story to enjoy him in. The decay of Dorian’s youth and character has no visual or narrative appeal. So this guy can’t age, so f*cking what? The constant dialogue, which was not at all interesting, felt like I was watching the recording of a play. Conversation after conversation takes place over pretentious this and pretentious that.

The film attempts to break up the dialogue by over-sexualizing Dorian’s character, one change to modernize the film. That doesn’t aid the film in making it more interesting; if anything, it provides a momentary distraction to the fact that nothing is actually happening. The ambiguity of Dorian’s sexuality might appear interesting on paper but it is not on film, especially for today’s audiences. So he’s making out with a guy, big deal. The orgy scenes make this nothing more than a stuffy soft core porn.

The curse on Dorian is far too ambiguous to establish itself as the main conflict of the film. That Lord Henry Watton inadvertently sold Dorian’s soul while having a simple conversation with him is not believable in the least. This was one key opportunity for the screenwriter to give flesh to the key event that sets up the rest of the film. I’m sure it’s a stretch in the book and for no one, in over one hundred years, to be able to flesh out this particular event that is supposed to set the pace for the rest of the film is absolutely ridiculous. For something like that to just slip through the cracks after rewrite after rewrite is incredibly frustrating.

The special effects in this film were abhorrent. The fake blood looked like red water. Call me an expert on blood but obviously fake blood is pathetic. It is the one thing in a film that can communicate horror and violence to the viewer and for it to look so awful is so substandard, especially today. I can walk to any Halloween store and buy a bottle of fake blood or I could just order some online.

I suppose one of the film’s redeeming qualities is Ben Barnes’ physical acting. When Dorian first arrives in London, Ben’s shoulders are hunched forward, conveying his shyness and hesitancy to meet these interesting strangers. His body language is less noticeable in the scenes after Dorian sells his soul, relying on nudity to fill the gap left by the lack of story. Regarding the other elements in this film, the cinematography looked very direct-to-dvdish. The costumes were decent and the interior lighting could have used a lot of work.

After seeing this, I honestly don’t know if gothic horror can work for today’s audiences. If Dorian is an example of one that is supposed to work, I’d bet that it’s over for gothic horror. My taste in horror doesn’t sway to Jason or Freddy but I certainly did not find this film enjoyable in any respect. Perhaps it’s fit for sixth graders learning about gothic horror but it is definitely not fit for wide audiences.

| by Allan Stackhouse |

For a while, I couldn’t stop hearing about hearing about The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Remake this, casting that, etc. Now, with its recent release to Blu-ray, I was able to see for what all the hoopla was. The title is a bit of a mouthful (try it in Swedish) and the tattoo doesn’t really have anything to do with the film. The film’s original title is translated to “Men Who Hate Women” which is largely telling of the sentiment of some of the characters in this film. Despite the essentially non-descriptive title, the film provides an exciting foray into the mystery of what happened to Harriet Vanger.

There are some very interesting characters in this film. First, Lisbeth Salander. She’s one tough cookie – not only in her leather clad appearance but also in her mind and spirit. She takes on a whole group of thugs in a subway station all by herself. Quite unexpectedly, her probation officer forces her to perform fellatio on him so she can be given money for a new computer after the thugs broke her old one. I questioned her portrayal as a positive character based on her willingness to be attacked again by Bjurman. The writer tricks us into believing this but then reveals after the attack that she was filming the entire event the whole time. I absolutely adore this trick because there is nothing in the script that leads us to think she is going to set him up. This sequence truly shows her spirit and her will to survive. It may be to an extreme length but her strength visually manifests in the plot and the vengeance she brings down upon her attacker.

Mikael Blomkvist is also an interesting character. He’s the other lead of the film and I’m tempted to say that he has more screen time than Lisbeth, which muddies the reason for the title. After being sentenced to jail for six months for libel, Mikael willingly agrees to help Henrik Vanger in his quest to find out who killed his niece, Harriet. I questioned this motivation because the character doesn’t need any money. He is only proposed a curious offer, the rewards of which he doesn’t appear to be desperate for since the conversation with his ex-wife makes no mention of financial consequences.

Further regarding the casting, I admire that this film casted its characters based solely on their acting skill. I’m not at all saying that it’s better to cast normal looking people who can act but it certainly is a better option than casting Justin Timberlake.

The beginning of the third act occurs right on time at exactly the 1:49 mark. One of the film’s best assets is its story with its major twists and turns and the ending delivers. In this act, we discover that Martin is the killer of the women whom Harriet wrote down. This is a wonderful narrative turn though because it reminds us, as the viewers, that we are not seeking the murderer of these women who Harriet identified, we are seeking Harriet.

Even in the revelation of the killer, the expected exposition is short. Martin is a frightening character because he does not linger in the moment of our hero’s death, like in the original Batman series. Instead, he beats Mikael, explains his actions in a concise manner over scenes of him committing these acts, and proceeds to hoist Martin up by his neck to strangle him. In a film of lesser quality, Martin would have recited line after line of explanations and conclusions and reasons, etc. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is not so sheepish; it gets to the point and moves on. It returns to the important conflict of the history: finding Harriet, which coincidentally is mentioned VERY briefly by Martin. The script does not point repeatedly point things out and expects us to be paying attention and not need reminders with all the lights of Las Vegas.

Regarding the American remake, I do understand the reason for its creation and I will give it my stamp of approval, unlike insert horror movie remake here. I’m sure the translator did an excellent job but the speed of speech did lose me at times. I found myself getting lost in the subtitles especially since I don’t know any Swedish at all. An American remake will reach a much wider audience and will hopefully shave off some of the length of the unnecessary length of the film. Who knows if the film will actually be good but I understand the appeal ($$$) of bringing the story to a wider audience.

I’ve been hearing that Noomi Rapace has been catching everyone in Hollywood’s attention. I cannot say from one film, despite her great performance, whether she is worthy of all this attention but I did like what she did her character.

As a film, I’d give this a four out of five. The story had some narrative twists that I’d normally expect to be lost or watered down from the change of medium. The film is somewhat indulgent with its 152 minute runtime (180 on the extended cut!) but I really enjoyed the film. I did have to take a break (or four) since the film was a heavier drama but this film really delivers in storytelling, characters, and heightened suspense. If there are fans of the book, I assume this length is to preserve as much of the 600 page book’s events and structure as possible. I am thrilled to have seen this and am very excited to see the other two films in the series.

| by Allan Stackhouse |

Clash of the Titans makes two new films I’ve seen this year about the Greek gods. Both, rated PG-13 or less, provide moderately entertaining viewing experiences. The film came out in April of this year, well into the time when everyone was still raving about Avatar. This overexposure of Sam Worthington, who I actually like, turned me off from both films. But Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson in one film? I can barely remember these two people are in fact TWO different people so watching both in one was a bit of a challenge. Regardless of the challenges and preconceptions I may have had, the film was decent and worth catching.

I’m a fan of Sam Worthington. Ever since the Australian crocodile film Rogue in 2007 and Terminator: Salvation in 2009, I’ve grown to admire Sam’s dramatic prowess. In Clash of the Titans, he plays Perseus, another character who needs to save the future, humankind, alienkind, you know the drill. The similarities in characters must have made the performances easier for him which is quite obviously a bit of typecasting. Typecasting can be looked at as a good thing or a bad thing; it all really depends on your feelings toward the actor. As far as Sam, I enjoy his heroic performances. For Sandra Bullock, I do not enjoy her endless bag of pathetic characters seeking redemption through the procurement of a male suitor. Thus, Sam’s casting in this film provided a heroic portrayal of Perseus. Perhaps it was not as ethnically correct as Harry Hamlin with his beach tanned skin and buzzed hair but he still gave a good portrayal and performance nonetheless.

I suppose from the trailer, I was given the impression that the entirety of the film would be shot on a green screen. To my surprise, the majority of the film was shot on elaborate sets and locations such as the Maspalomas dunes, the Canary Islands, and Wales. The majority of the locations weren’t particularly impressive or expansive but they served the story in helping to convey some sort of journey. The pillar upon which Andromeda was to be sacrificed was impressive. The exterior and interiors of Argos were all designed very well too yet they were lit so poorly. I was not at all taken by it. Every scene looked like the inside of a Sears.

The fight scenes, thankfully were kept in wide shots, which Louis Letterier thankfully knows how to do. I think he’s trying to break out of the fill-in director image and I don’t know if he’s done it yet with this film (especially since The Incredible Hulk was a let down) but he’s done a decent job in this film. The film is somewhat a revenge story. Normally, I like these films to be rated R and extremely violent but the film does what it can. It had some throwbacks to old American action films and I appreciated them. The stereotypical camaraderie speech made me laugh. And you can’t have an American action film without one liners. Having waited to screen this film at home, I avoided the 3D conversion which, according to Louis, was made to improve the experience yet still comes off as gimmicky since it clearly sought to ride Avatar‘s coat tails.

The stakes in this remake were raised with newer technology. CGI may still not be the greatest but at least Louis was smart enough to keep the shots short during the action. I suppose the CGI scorpions were lightyears ahead of whatever form of technology used in the original. In the dessert sequence where the scorpions were attacking Perseus and his group, the scorpions perform a wide variety of actions and angles but the obvious blend of CGI and live action was at least skirted around with shorter cuts. This is instantly appreciated because I cannot stand being taken out of a movie at any point point, especially its action sequences. Bad CGI is a major culprit of that. (See Blade 3 for examples.)

There’s a nice bit of odds and ends that give the film some sparks. Nicholas Hoult’s natural speaking voice and skin color are preferable to the fake and bake and atrocious American accent in A Single Man. The film also reunites Tony and Effie from the UK series Skins. The cute mechanical owl from the original film makes a nice cameo. As far as the battle of the “Release the Kraken,” I’m going to have to give it to Bill Nighy. It was a pretty blah line delivery from Zeus.

Having a slight aversion to things that look terrible, I did not care to watch the original Clash of the Titans. Even without more recent memories of the original, I prefer its newest incarnation. While not a marvel in modern filmmaking, the film is far from terrible. I think these stories deserve the rated R treatment. However, this one might be good for some kids. Maybe a little on the forgettable side but it’s at least entertaining. Nothing truly spectacular happens in the film but this is not necessarily a completely bad thing. I don’t know how good I would have felt paying to see this but watching it at home was a nice way to spend a couple of hours of my weekend.

| by Allan Stackhouse |

I had a feeling that I should have just went ahead and bought A Single Man but no, I played it safe and clogged my Blockbuster queue. Tom Ford, who hasn’t even done a short film, has just schooled every gay director that made a film about his or her own kind.

Much unlike The Wolfman and Eclipse, there is an intelligent use of color. Upon finding something that triggers a memory of Jim in George, the picture is flooded with color. The gray and washed out pallets that are representative of George’s despair blooms with warm flesh tones and a brilliant scheme. When Jennifer, the little girl, approaches George at the bank, the camera slowly pans up to reveal Jennifer’s bright blue dress, ribbons, and eyes. The lead-in to this particular sequence is also visually captivating: an overhead shot of George going through his bag to find his identification while his gun clearly protrudes in the bag’s side pocket. The gun is clean so even with the dark brown case over a bland bank’s scheme, it stands out. And for the reverse shot to Jennifer, the pigment in George’s face becomes so rich and alive. Dialogue is the default indicator of emotion but color can serve the same purpose. It is so rarely intelligently used at the level of this film.

The film was not so bold as to make sad scenes black and white. Tom Ford knows this too well. This attention to color and knowledge of its importance in human expression stems no doubt from Tom’s longstanding career in high fashion. Instead of tailoring, fabrics, and dyes, Tom designs with angles, focuses, and color.

Not as pleasing to my senses is Nicholas Hoult’s American accent. Nicholas is an amazing actor with his own natural accent but with his California accent, the emphasis on certain syllables made his performance less than believable. Perhaps Tom saw something in Nicholas as a director that I do not but an actual American actor or at least an actor who could more accurately speak with any American accent would have provided a much better scene partner to Colin Firth. In comparison to Matthew Goode’s solid lack of any of his own English accent as Jim, I found the character of Kenny (Nicholas) very protrusive. Another unpleasant accent was that of Julianne Moore. This woman just was not born to do accents. She might look nice in a silk or satin gowns but her accents are simply atrocious. She mixes up the different kinds of English and Australian accents. Do not get me started on her Boston accents from 30 Rock. If I were from any place where she is drawing the accent from, I would be either embarassed or bowled over in laughter.

Just as unpleasing to my senses are the fake tans on Colin Firth and Nicholas Hoult. Their fair English skin looks absolutely ridiculous in the orange hues made by spray tans. Perhaps bed tanning would have been a more time consuming option but it was awful to the point that it took me out of the movie for a bit. As Kenny strips to convince George to swim in the ocean with him, even in the darkness the fakeness of the appearance of their skin color was very distracting. In all the day scenes where Kenny is speaking to George, I was just as equally distracted.

Among the wonderful things in A Single Man is its conflict. George is grief stricken from the death of his boyfriend Jim. In a hauntingly beautiful scene, George removes the gun from his wardrobe, examines it, and brings it to work with him. The conflict at that point could be called soft but if we’re really paying attention, we as viewers know that George is still planning to kill himself. Just to fully make the audience aware of his intentions, the gun makes a second appearance when George begins to remove it from his bag while in his car. Sadness from the loss of a spouse is communicable in any language and the fact that this particular relationship is between two men makes no difference in the story. Jim and could have easily been female characters and the story would not have been any less good. The fact that Jim and Kenny were men does add a certain element to the film since there are so few films that will feature these types of relationships.

The cinematography in this film is so enveloping in even just the simplest of shots. As George sits in his chair after being informed of Jim’s death, the camera picks up the red in Colin Firth’s face. His skin, in such a close shot, manages to provide a soft contrast from the fabric of the chair. Returning to the gun scene, these objects are treated as things of beauty. It’s not enough that we just see these objects. They are shot in a fashion that takes note of the detail and importance of these objects, people, location, etc.

Those who don’t recognize Carlos, the prostitute at the liquor store, might not think anything of him but this is a nice bit of reverse sexism. Female super models have been cast in films just for their faces for many years and I’m sure it was a purposeful wink at women and gay men to have a male super model simply there to be pleasing to the eye. He, oddly enough, said some of the most memorable lines in the film: Sometimes awful things have their own kind of beauty. and Lovers are like buses, you just have to wait a little while and another one comes along.

Besides nice lines and use of color, the film has nice visual storytelling. After going to the bank, George returns home and neatly lays his affairs out. His instruction on a piece of paper reads, “Tie in a windsor knot.” That is significant in that it pokes fun of the pretense in fashion but also visually telling of this man’s despair from Jim’s death and desire to end his life.

The single (ha) flaw of A Single Man is the ending; unfortunately, that’s a big deal. To make it worse, it’s not a small flaw. The ending manifests itself in a horrible exposition. Had the film ended just two minutes prior, it would have been amazing. I know this is a flaw because having gone to film school, this was a common thing that students, including myself, made. It was an amateur mistake, one that I was not expecting Tom to make. Everything before this travesty of an expository ending was brilliant in terms of color, cinematography, and story. This providing the last taste in my mouth is tragic. George’s voice overed speech was a cop out. The drama was never heightened to any particular point and if you’re going to end a dramatic movie like that, which is not uncommon, you do not cheat the audience by telling them the signifance of the scene. Instead, why not challenge them with a cliffhanger or an open ending that would leave the audience to make an ending in our own minds. The end did provide some irony in that just upon his decision to not kill himself, he has a heart attack. Perhaps narratively, this worked out. In the book, it might have worked extremely well for the last chapter or two to have page after page of George’s last thoughts but that does not work in this film.

Tom Ford, in an absolutely brilliant first venture in the world of film, has succeeded with A Single Man. I am crushed that the ending was such a blatant display of amateurism. What saves the film is the brilliant use of color, cinematography, and story. I highly recommend this film to anyone who is a fan of cinematography or tragedies. If you can look past the ending, which I am growing to do, you may enjoy the film even more than I have.

| by Allan Stackhouse |

Before you read this, please note that I watched the Unrated Version of the film as opposed to the Theater Version. What can I say, more blood and more guts is a selling point for me.

Upon seeing the trailer on TV, I remember being awestruck by the cast of Joe Johnston: Sir Anthony Hopkins, the Canadian marvel Christopher Plummer, and the versatile Benicio del Toro. Unfortunately, I was almost immediately let down by the film. Christopher Plummer appears in one scene (for which he is apparently not credited). Despite the name draw, none of the actors’ performances provide enough to compensate for such a blatant lack of story.

Benicio plays Lawrence Talbot, a successful theater actor, who returns to his father’s house upon the death of his brother. He is traumatized from his mother’s suicide. At the start of the film, we can tell that something is amiss with his father, John Talbot. There are some nice bits of visual storytelling that reveal his character: his eyes staying bright while retreating into darkness. In the ambush scene in the first act, people are being decapitated left and right with no sight or sound of their attacker. Lawrence is attacked, bit by the werewolf and making him a werewolf.

I am utterly disappointed by the washed out pallet. Why are the default choices to make something old washing it out? After Effects. I have been to a handful of foreign countries and I’m . Washed out pallets do not work for these supernatural films. They don’t work for films as fluffy as Eclipse and they don’t work in what was supposed to have been a horror epic.

Hugo Weaving’s initial appearance is commanding. I thought the movie was setting up Inspector Abberline as another protagonist, which would have proved an interesting narrative tool. He, himself, is displayed as flawed, not totally welcome by the townspeople for his by-the-book pursuit of the wolf. Yet again, his presence is wasted on a character whom I could care less about. It’s quite unfortunate that these wasted characters become a recurring theme for the film: fantastic actor but very little character to act out. The only mildly impressive performance is Sir Anthony Hopkins as John Talbot. In the cell that holds Lawrence, he reveals that he killed Lawrence’s mother. Unfortunately, this impressive bit of memorization is the epitome of exposition in the film. This movie simply tells us how to feel at every opportunity it gets.

I had absolutely no emotional attachment to any of these characters. I didn’t care about anyone’s survival. Not even the damsel in distress, Gwen Confliffe, played by Emily Blunt, another actress for whom I couldn’t care less. Granted, she, like the other characters, had very little character to work with but she brings nothing to the table other than her face.

The movie, set in old England, was full of pompous old men. There’s something so hilarious about watching pompous old men getting slaughtered that entirely works for this film. Lawrence, upon his first transformation, falls into the trap set by the townspeople but lays waste to their naievite. Twice in the film, they ended up killing another man. This didn’t get to the point where it was hokey but it certainly made me chuckle a bit.

The double scare. If you’re going to use them, use them sparingly. At first, I found the double scares to be a little lackluster but I found them funny after the second one. They only appeared at the dreams within dreams sequence and it would have been nice for the director to include these in the natural scape of the film but the fact that they put a smile on my face is a major plus.

I did not find the transformation scenes particularly good. The transformations relied entirely on CGI and it wasn’t impressive in the least. If you’re going to start out with great transformation scenes in 1981′s An American Werewolf in London and a near-seamless blend of skin bursting special effects and body crunching visual effects in the Underworld series, you should be able to take it to next level. Especially after the bar was set almost twenty years ago. In Lawrence’s first transformation, he writhes off screen and we can barely tell what is going on. The whole fear of the unknown thing does not work here because it’s never presented as such. You cannot rely on a tool if you don’t know how to use it.

Exposition, exposition, exposition. It’s incomprehensible to me that a subject as interesting and scary as lycanthropy is shaved down to irritating dialogue about it. I don’t mean to so harshly destroy Joe Johnston but this is the guy that Hollywood goes to when they can’t get Spielberg. Spielberg directed both Jurassic Park and the Lost World but passed on Jurassic Park III. Who gets it? Joe Johnston of course. He’s also done The Pagemaster and Hidalgo. He did direct October Sky, which I haven’t seen, so maybe that’s a good sign. His style reaks of the smell of someone filling in for someone else and the unfortunate thing is that it shows. Joe has done wonderful things in the world of art direction – The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Return of the Jedi – but how he ever landed Captain America, I probably don’t even want to know. I don’t think he’s fit to direct action especially after watching The Wolfman.

| by Allan Stackhouse |

How highly can I speak of True Blood? I cannot say. Actually, that’s a lie. I was super excited during season 3′s buzz campaign but I found myself nervous going into the actual episodes. I wondered if the show could even come close to the magnitude of season 2. Maryann’s near infinite power was so delicious, even up until its ravaged end. I was shaken out of this wonder at the last scene of It Hurts Me Too, episode 3. Or should I say my head was twisted all the way around? Too much? In any case, the show proves to be at the level set in season 2.

Ding dong the b*tch is dead. Which old b*tch? Lorena is dead! I’ve never wanted someone to die so badly since Lorena. She’s been a thorn in my side for three seasons but the show did not let me down. Not only did just this one event deliver but the story, acting, and gore all delivered just like the best show on TV is supposed to do. New relationships are formed, old ones are tested, a wide array of villains seek to have their way at the expense of our favorite Bon Temps residents, and of course there’s more sex and violence.

Let my hatred for for Lorena not detract from Mariana Klaveno’s acting prowess. The control she wields over Lorena’s voice and body language is truly astounding. She commands the attention of viewers and this is entirely one of the reasons why she invoked such a strong reaction out of viewers. This bitter hatred I felt was one that I had not felt since Lauren in the third season of JJ Abrams’ Alias. Hey, they kind of have the same name. Viewer beware: the Lorena/Laurens of the world will do your favorite TV protagonists harm. They both met their ultimately satisfying end (for the viewers, definitely not them). Whereas Lauren was destroyed in a beautiful hail of bullets, Lorena, held back by Bill with a silver chain that ironically was holding him, is staked by Sookie. A fountain of blood erupts from her mouth and she explodes like a water balloon. A beautiful end worthy of a formidable villain.

Remaining as high as it was, the writing carries us into supernatural ecstasy. We are finding out what Sookie is, a mystery set up in the very first episode of the show. The manifestation of Sookie’s powers in the second season and again in the third drew fascination to her. As Sookie recovers in the waiting room, her consciousness is transported to an ethereal realm where other mindreaders reside. The cliffhangers posed at the end of each episode continuously prove to be both amazing and maddening.

New faces to the world of True Blood are the enormously terrifying Russell Edgington, the King of Mississippi. His grip may not reach as far as Maryann’s but through his henchman, his influence seems limitless. From Eric’s flashback, we (or at least the smarter of the viewers) know that Russell and his pack of werewolves destroyed Eric’s royal family. Russell kept this crown as a token of his destruction but to Eric, the crown’s value has only grown for about nine hundred seventy-two years. The destruction that Russell so easily casts brings about the emotional side of Eric that we saw in last season. Perhaps not to the point where he cries blood but maybe this crown means even more than that.

Tommy Mickens. The air of mystery was drawn around Tommy and the Mickens family. Episode 6 revealed that he apparently is a contestant in the abhorrent world of dogfights. Honestly, I find this a little silly but this is providing Sam with a sense of family that he did not know he was looking for. Joe Lee and Melinda both turn out to be disgusting people. We know that Sam is capable of caring a lot about his love interests but the care Sam has for his brother is a nice contrast to sex and violence in the show.

The King may be the main villain but Franklin Mott is the character of whom I find myself the most afraid. Lorena might be relentless in her pursuit of Bill but Franklin is absolutely insane. Franklin’s tree of insanity does bear fruit though; it comes in the form of Tara’s character development. She has had her moments of sadness after Eggs’ death but Franklin’s pursuit of her leaves Tara no time to worry about that. She’s in the fight of her life. The lengths that she’s forced to go through surprised me at her ability to rise to the occasion of saving her own and Sookie’s lives.

The breakout character this season is not a new one; it’s actually Tara Thornton. The growth in her character this season was further than I could have imagined. Despite wanting to die and having been bound and gagged in the earlier episodes, Tara finds the will to survive. And survive she does. Some of the few amazing things she does: bites into Russell’s neck and drinks his blood, she smashes Franklin’s head into a mess of bone and brain bits, she almost outruns a werewolf, she takes a female werewolf on with her own bare hands, she lifts Bill’s body like it’s a rag doll, and she kicks Bill out into daylight for nearly killing Sookie.

I read an interview with Alan Ball in which he said the theme of this season was politics whereas the season before had the theme of religion. Alan and everyone involved created another brilliant chess game where, as is usually the case with politics, someone is trying to usurp power. The black king seeks to marry the white queen in order to control not only their respective states but soon the vampire way of life. Franklin is intolerant of of the oppression he feels the Authority over him, having lived in ages when there was no force that made their kind combine with humans.

In retrospect, I don’t know if it’s fair to say that any of these episodes are better than the other. There’s certainly higher stakes in certain episodes, which obviously leads to preference but the theme of politics this season requires a different amount of setup. The results, luckily for us, remain the same: phenomenal characters. We’re definitely set up to have an exciting second half of the season. Debbie, as can be told by her screaming, will go to Bon Temps to seek vengeance for Alcide killing Cooter. Franklin is going to pay Tara a visit. And King Russell? His power may continue to grow but I don’t think Eric will allow his majesty’s reign to go past season 3. ‘Til next time, kids!

| by Allan Stackhouse |

The work seems to have really amped up here at Cosmic Toast Studios. The entire studio is busy with a fun new project. On the sound side, we’ve got some amazing talent for the voices. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say exactly who one actor is but let’s just say that his pants are of a certain equally sided shape. Jen, our producing intern, has been doing a great job as script supervisor for the recordings. The animation work we’ve been producing for it is looking fantastic.

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve started incorporating reviews for new movie releases to theaters instead of solely new Blu-ray releases. My first was Eclipse, which I didn’t enjoy as much as New Moon. The fight scene was well worth the price of admission though. It’s such a shame that the lengths in cinematography that New Moon went to were erased in favor of the washed out look from Twilight. My second new movie review was Inception. The trailer was stunning but the movie as a whole did not work for me. Great score though.

Unrelated to the studio, I was invited to attend a screening of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World which ended up being my third new movie review. I haven’t been to one of these in a while so the process was a little anxiety-inducing but the movie was phenomenal! And I got to see it for free! I absolutely recommend it to everyone. Literally everyone. Michael Cera and all of the cast were great. The visual effects additions to all of the scenes made it seem more like a video game thus providing a more immersive viewing experience.

A few of the Cosmic Toasters made it down to Comic-Con and I reveled in their stories. Not so much with the one about somebody’s eye area getting stabbed but just about all the others. Our Jesse Scully was on hand for the Resident Evil and Marvel panels. The vuvuzela story was absolutely hilarious. How cute was the little kid that asked Ryan Reynolds to recite the Green Lantern oath.

Marissa, one of our animation interns, attended the SIGGRAPH (Special Interest Group on GRAPHics and Interactive Techniques) annual conference on computer graphics. She met some amazing people. 3DS Max was celebrating its 20th anniversary. She didn’t win any of the raffled prizes but she did get a blue AND red RenderMan walking teapot.

Colin, one of our animators, had Max Neptune and the Menacing Squid played at the Action on Film Festival in Pasadena. I was there the first night, Friday the 23rd. Due to popularity, Max Neptune was granted a second screening the following Sunday. Thursday, the day of the awards ceremony, came around and I unsuccessfully aided Colin with his tie. This was of no matter because Max Neptune won for Best Visual Effects Short. In his modesty, Colin didn’t post anything about his win but I immediately updated the Cosmic Toast Studios and my personal Facebook pages to announce his win.

As the month winded down, the work seemed to ramp up. I was assigned my first screenwriting project and I was overjoyed. After a rewrite, my treatment was sent off so we’ll see if the clients are happy with it. Kristin and Mike, of LA Music Blog, graciously offered me a writing opportunity for the site and of course I accepted. I will be covering the realms of mainstream pop and hip hop. Check out my first post!

Brandon celebrated his 8th birthday and he was gifted with a shiny new bicycle and a puppy. His name is Buster and he’s adored by the kids… and everyone here. So much so that it was eye opening for me to see how hard little kids can fall in love for something.

We had a big pitch day last week and more pitches as August begins. This month is shaping up to be very productive here. Expect more movie reviews and now music news from me.

| by Allan Stackhouse |

I’ve never seen the 1973 The Crazies so I cannot speak of it. Normally, I would absolutely detest the idea of a modern day remake of a classic horror. In this case, no one seemed to care or had even heard of the original. This was of no further consequence considering that The Crazies surprised me with its high quality. The trailer certainly looked very good but it didn’t get me in theaters, but if you’re keeping track, only two movies have managed to get money out of my pocket since the beginning of my time here at Cosmic Toast Studios: Toy Story 3 and Inception. With its recent release to Blu-ray and DVD, the bar for this year’s horror roster has been set. Horror movie vets Timothy Olyphant (Scream 2) and Radha Mitchell (Silent Hill) lead this frightening tale of what could be our government’s response to a horrifying outbreak.

While the movie was not perfect, the cinematography, especially for a horror movie was very good. The majority of the first act’s shots were done in long focus. Showing this amount of distance and openness gave me the fear that something was just around the corner waiting to attack. Horror movies too often rely on close ups to convey a sense of confinement. Those are all well and good but the screenwriters and director played on the idea of the scariness of farmland. If you aren’t scared of farmland, great. For those of us who are, this adds a layer of fear that’s similar to the one found in Jaws.

Watching a pregnant woman in danger is frightening. There’s just no getting around the innate fear of a person carrying the unborn life of another being attacked. George Romero, in his horror wisdom, understood this in 1973 and it still holds its power today. Horror violence against anyone doesn’t exactly make me comfortable and it definitely doesn’t make me comfortable watching a pregnant lady fight for her life. If this was the intention of the director and writer, it was a brilliant tool in scaring the audience and raising the stakes of danger. The role does not rest on its circumstances, however. Judy empowers herself, pregnancy and all, to protect herself, her unborn child, and those around her.

The screenwriter and director completely understand the value of foreshadowing and the power it can have in horror films. After Rory is fatally shot by David, a satellite’s view of the town says, “Initiate Containment Protocol.” This informs us that someone is watching and it asks us to make the connection as the appearances of the army become more frequent. David picking up the lighter at the truck stop was also very nice. The scene might have held on him holding the lighter a little too long but it still foreshadowed the handiness of his last minute selection. Some might call it a plot hole but I saw David’s potential infection from stabbing one of the crazies with the knife stuck in his hand as a clever ruse from the screenwriters. For those of us that were paying attention and worried for David, he turned out to be fine. There’s nothing wrong with a little cinematic bait, especially for someone like me who was taking notes during the film.

The emphasis of visual storytelling and almost complete lack of exposition was so admirable in this film. In an early scene, Judy reaches across the bed. David isn’t there. He is working on shaving a piece of wood, a completely monotonous task, to get his mind off of having to shoot and kill somebody. This visually communicates the torment David feels and the concern Judy has for her husband. In this same sequence, another nice use of visual storytelling occurs when Judy passes by a room whose door is open. The crib is empty. She goes down to meet David who puts his hand on her stomach. It might have saved the movie a lot of time to simply cut to Judy exiting the doorway and David saying something about her pregnancy but the results are visual puzzle pieces for us to put together, a form of storytelling that I was not at all expecting out of a horror movie. Perhaps that’s not good of me to be stereotyping what horror films lack but it’s nonetheless appreciated because it communicates the emotion the characters are feeling in a genre where the default is fear communicated by screaming. In a slightly even more complicated bit of visual storytelling, David’s face starts out as clean shaven. Then, throughout the film, it grows and grows. This firstly speaks of stress and then secondly of his obvious inability to groom himself due to killing crazies.

There are classic horror movie moments though. Namely, “You stupid, b-word” moments. The first notable one was when Sandra, alerted by the noise coming from the barn, stands in front of the menacing hay tiller with blades upon blades just feet away from her. I absolutely love these moments because they are the kind at which my dad would angrily yell, “Stupid.” Immediately after Sandra turns off the hay tiller, she drops her flashlight upon hearing her son’s yells. Seriously. She just drops it on the ground as if it won’t come in handy after hearing someone scream. Even our fair and brave heroine isn’t immune to stupidity. After Judy packs, she passes by the nursery and hesitates. She enters and everything is set up for her to have a sentimental moment with the last time she will see this room but in the corner, at the end of the scene, a crazy stands in waiting. We know from her hesitation that Judy shouldn’t go in there yet she does. That stupid, b-word.

It wouldn’t be a good horror movie if I didn’t scream. In a particularly scary scene, David uncovers what is stirring underneath a sheet on a gurney: a man whose mouth has been sewn shut. When David removes the stitches, the man on the gurney utters two frightening words, “Behind you.” Behold the infected coroner who swings at David with a motorized bone saw. I don’t want to give all of these moments away but trust me in that there were a few choice moments at which my neighbors probably thought I saw a spider or something with wings.

Rounding up the integral types of scenes are the “F*ck yeah!” moments. Russell, after saving David and Judy, shoots both of the infected on the floor multiple times in the head because he’s “making sure.” I, as a zombie movie freak, know the importance of this and it’s nice that Russ has this bit of common sense even though he himself is going crazy. A lesser so “F*ck yeah!” moment would definitely be when David rescues Judy from the crazies in the school. He asks her, “Are you okay.” She replies, “No, not really.” Of course she’s not but that’s an awesome answer. This, besides having already saved her friend, solidified her character for me. While she’s not a tough chick, she’s got her head on straight and we can tell that she’s going to make it to the end of the film.

The unfortunate thing about The Crazies is the pacing. Whereas the movie’s conflict is set up swiftly enough, the movie loses steam in the second and third acts. It may have been said in the film that the goal is to escape the area but the result seems to be the main characters walking around aimlessly. Not enough is drawn for me to care about David or Judy other than the fact they survive the longest. The circumstance of Judy’s pregnancy successfully did make me fear for her safety but the second and third acts play out so slowly. Scary as they were, I thought there was a lack of connection between the scenes in these particular acts as well. It felt like, “Okay, now they’re going to go here and something scary happens. And now, they’re going to here and it’s going to be even scarier.” That sort of set up is fine when I’m watching the scenes but the result from me watching the parts in between is boredom.

The survival aspect was very similar to 28 Days Later, which I believe was done better than The Crazies. While I did enjoy the film, I don’t think a sequel is necessary. You’re probably screaming “Saw 3D” at me, which is your right, but unless it’s another entity, I’m not entirely interested. 28 Weeks Later was good but essentially the same move as its predecessor. The film had many things that I liked about it but I would have liked the pacing to have been kept at the rate set in the first act. All in all, definitely worth a watch.